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all over. You were right. Just leave the situation alone and let it straighten
itself out."
"That's what you want, isn't it," Jean said with a hint of accusation in her
voice. "You'd like us to be the way they are. But have you really thought
about what that would mean? No standards, no order to anything, no morality. .
. I mean, what kind of a way would that be for Jay and Marie to grow up?'
Jay and Marie were her latest weapons. Bernard knew she was rationalizing her
own fears of the changes involved, but he wasn't going to make a public issue
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of it. "I'd like them to have the
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teryear.txt chance to Make the best lives for themselves that they can, sure.
They've got that chance right here. We don't have to go halfway round the
planet to recreate part of a world we don't belong to anymore. It couldn't
last. That's all over now. You have to bring yourself to face up to it, hon."
"We're still the some people," Jay said from the end of the sofa, looking at
his mother.
"That's not going to change. If you're going to act dumb, you can do that
anywhere." To Bernard's mild surprise Jay had shown a lively interest in the
conversation all through dinner and had elected to sit in afterward. About
time too, Bernard thought to himself.
Jean shook her head, still refusing to contemplate the prospect. "But why does
it have to be over?" She looked imploringly at Bernard. "We were happy all
those years in the ship, weren't we? We had our friends, like Jerry and Eve,
we had the children. There was your job. Why should this planet take it all
away from us? They don't have the right. We never wanted anything from them.
It's-it's all wrong."
Bernard felt the color rising at the back of his neck. The pathos that she was
trying to project was touching a raw nerve. He refilled his glass with a slow,
deliberate movement while he brought his feelings under control. "What makes
you so sure I found it all that wonderful?" he asked. "Aren't you assuming the
same right to tell me what I ought to want?" He put the bottle down on the
table with a thud and looked up. "Well, I didn't think it was so wonderful,
and I
don't want any more of it. Today I told Merrick to stuff his lob up his ass."
"You what?" Jean gasped, horrified.
"I told him to stuff it. It's over. We can be us now. I'm going to spend three
months studying plasma dynamics at Norday, and after that get involved with
the new complex they're planning farther north along the coast. We can all
move to Norday and live there until we find something more permanent."
Jean shook her head in protest. "But you can't . . I won't go. I want to move
to Iberia."
"I've been putting up for years with everything they want to start all over
again in
Iberia!" Bernard thundered suddenly, slamming down his glass. His face turned
crimson. "I hated every minute of it. Who ever asked me if that was what I
wanted? Nobody. I'm tired of everybody taking- for granted who I am and what
they think Fm supposed to be. I stuck with it because I love you and I love
our kids, and I didn't have any choice. Well, now I have a choice, and this
time you owe me. I say we're going to Norday, and goddamnit we're going to
Norday!"
Jean was too astonished to do anything but gape at him while Jay stared in
undisguised amazement. Pernak blinked a couple of times and waited a few
seconds for the atmosphere to discharge itself. "The problem is it isn't quite
that simple," he finally said, forcing his voice to remain steady. "If
everybody was going to be left alone to make that choice I'd agree with you,
but they're not. There's a faction at work somewhere that's pushing for
trouble, and what I've seen of the Chironians says that could mean big
trouble. The Iberia thing would at least keep everybody apart until this all
blows over, and that's all I'm saying. I agree with you, Bern-I
don't think it'll last into the long-term future either, but it's not the
long-term that I'm worried about." He glanced at Jean apologetically. "Sorry,
but that's how I think it'll go."
Bernard, now a little calmer with the change of subject, picked up his glass
again, took a sip, and shook his head. "Aren't you overreacting just a little
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bit, Jerry? Exactly what kind of trouble are you talking about? What have we
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