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lounger were Rita sat. I slid down to the far end. Donna left us and
went to the bar to fix drinks. No rum this time. She poured Jack
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Daniels into short fat glasses, added a couple of ice cubes to each and
distributed them. I drank half of mine in three gulps.
Donna took a seat by Russell and took his hand, holding it as she
spoke. Lee, I will do all I can to help you by telling you how it was for
me. Rita, you will be better off getting your advice from Russell. He
can probably help you more than I can.
I downed more bourbon. Damn your help! Our baby is dead. I m a
woman. Rita is a man. Our whole world has been destroyed! Don t sit
there and tell me that your advice will fix things.
The look of shocked pain of Donna s face told me I d gone too far.
Sorry. That was a cruel thing to say. I m not myself. I forced a bitter
smile to my lips.
Her hurt look disappeared. I know you didn t mean it, dear. We re
all overwhelmed by shock. And these tremendous changes.
Russell nodded at her words and brushed at his eyes with his
shirtsleeve.
I thought of the prayer I had voiced to myself. Surely, if there was a
God who cared at all about humanity, our baby was with him. I
finished the first bourbon and got up to make another. My breasts
swayed beneath the silk wrap as I crossed the room. How long would
it be before I got use to that?
I caught Donna eying me as I poured my glass almost full. She gave
me a warning look. Careful. You won t be able to drink as much now
that you re a woman.
What? Oh. I must weigh less now. The same volume of alcohol would
hit me harder. I ll worry about it tomorrow, not tonight.
I didn t, either. I had several more drinks while Donna did most of
the talking, trying to soothe us in our new bodies. Once, I had to
excuse myself to use the bathroom. I was standing in front of the stool
when I remembered just in time through the fog of the bourbon that I
had better sit down. I did, and in a few seconds discovered why
females need to use tissue after peeing. I felt the wetness but didn t
look down when I wiped. I felt my face flush as I came back into the
room.
You two need to pick new names, Donna said as I sat back down.
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The thought made me feel rebellious. I don t want a new name. In
fact, I think tomorrow I m going to go back through the gate and see if
I come out. I want to be a man again.
No! They all yelled it at once. Russell s shout was louder than
anyone else s.
Why not? I said belligerently.
Because of the odds, you idiot! Rita yelled at me. We lost our baby
today. I don t want to lose you, too.
I looked at her new male body and swallowed hard, fighting my tears,
tears that seemed to be flowing with unaccustomed easiness. But that
was because the baby was gone. A few hours ago we d been so happy.
All that was gone now unless I no, damn it, I didn t even want to
think of that possibility. Nor, I admitted to myself, did I really want to
chance the thousands to one odds of success if I went through the gate
again. I wasn t that brave. That didn t leave a whole lot of options.
I folded my arms and glared at Donna. I don t want a new name.
I don t see why we can t keep on calling you Lee. You can spell it like
the Chinese do, with an i.
I shrugged my assent. Li. At least it would sound like my original
name.
How about you, Rita?
He started to brush his hair back behind his ears, then looked
annoyed when his fingers met thin air. He frowned in thought, for a
moment before brightening. How about Ruez? That has a Spanish
sound to go with Hernandez, and it s alliterative besides. You can call
me Rez for short.
Ruez. Rez. I rolled the names silently on my tongue. They seemed to
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